Boyfriend wants his friend to watch us have sex

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I'm worried my OCD is coming back.

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A female reader, blackhearts  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

The OCD you've described sounds like a VERY mild case of it. I however as a young child up until early teens suffered with it terribly (with out any help) and I can't begin to describe the things I used to do! And you call yourself a nut? Also on top of the OCD I had tourettes (the un swearing kind) which made things a lot worse and hell for my parents. On the other hand as I got a little older it did tone down a lot but I have always had it. To be honest you always will have it it comes and goes. Some have worse cases than others and some get it that bad they need professional help. You can get medication for it. Remember once you start it's incredibly hard to get out of again, so train your brain to stop now before it gets worse.

A female reader, blonde30s  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

maybe cause of the stress your under is why it came back and will probably go again but have you tryed counselling for it just to talk about the reasons why etc and they will be able to help you. ...............................   

A female reader, shania  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

I dont think you are ever cured of OCD entirely...you just learn to live with it.You can have periods of not having any symptoms at all and then all of a sudden they come back...and usually when you are under stress or you have too much time on your hands so therefore you are constantly thinking and having to do rituals.You need to go to your GP and he can refer you to a pyschologist who will help you with your condition.In the mean time there is plenty of self help books on OCD and cd's to listen too which will help you to relax. ...............................   

A female reader, aunt honesty  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Off course you are not a nut sweetie and dont think that anyone thinks that way of you and if they do then they are ignorant and should be just ignored. It is hard probably for you to understand what is happening it sounds like the stress has brought it back on and even though your brain is telling you that its silly to think these things you have no choice in the matter but to follow them through it sounds like you need to repeatedly check things because you associate these things with harm or danger. Just remember that it is not your fault you are feeling these things. the best cure for ocd is to get cognitive-behavioral therapy, go to your doctor and ask to be referred for this before things can get any worse. it has two parts in it exposure and response prevention and cognitive therapy. There is not much self help on this issue, whenever you feel yourself thinking these things try and change your behavior on to another thought and keep doing this. I advice you go to your doctor soon, good luck hun. ...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

i currently have ocd and it never honestly goes away just like alergies you may grow mostly out of them but u still have sensitivities. i think that your stress it taking these sensitivities and magnifiying them so try to find some way to relax mabey yoga 10 min a day thats how i deal with it. when you start to looose this stress you ocd tendencies will be less noticable they may evn stop happening untill the nxt tme you become ovry stressed like you re now Hope it works :) ...............................   

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Should I cut off a 22 year friendship for my girlfriend?

A male age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone. I have an ex girlfriend from High School that I am still very good friends with. We live 5 blocks away from each other. Speak to each other 3 or 4 times a week. See each other twice a week. But this is only because we are in the same neighborhood. The problem is that my current girlfriend of 4yrs doesn't like it. She gets very angry anytime she even hears the ex's name. She feels we are fooling around behind her back. I have explained to her so many times that I'm not. In fact I don't even find my ex attractive anymore. But we have had so many fights over this. She has even gotten very violent with me several times over this. Should I cut off a 22yr friendship for her? What can I do to stop all this madness?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

Dude im sure you know what to do. If you love this woman, the girlfriend, then you'll do whatever you can to make her happy.

A female reader, Stayc63088  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Honestly that sounds extremely frequent to see a friend. I would get jealous too. This is a topic I really think depends on a person's point of view. Some believe a friendship with the opposite sex is perfectly fine and normal, others just aren't okay with it. I agree that she is making you choose- her or your friend. So choose. I've gone through this with my boyfriend. He has a friend of 8 years that he used to date but is now just friends. I can't handle it at all. Even though it is 8 years ago it just hurts so badly every time she called or texted. We damn near broke up over it until he decided she wasn't worth losing me. I compromised a little to where he can text or respond back but never hang out. I'm afraid there is no way for you to have both. Your girlfriend won't back down I'm sure. Maybe find someone a bit more confident for you who doesn't care about an ex being a friend you see twice a week. But it will come down to choosing one or the other. Good luck. ...............................   

A female reader, anna_1209  +, writes (6 November 2010):

Your girlfriend is obviously quite insecure. If you really care about your girlfriend you need to reassure her that you love her and that there is nothing to worry about your friendship with your ex from high school. Tell her you don't want to choose and its not fair that she should make her. If she continues to be jealous and angry then its up to you to decide whether you're prepared to let a 22 year old friendship go for your girlfriend, but if your ex has been a good friend to you then it would be a shame to losw her over somebody who doesn't trust you ...............................   

A female reader, blonde30s  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

i think you should talk to your girlfriend about all this and explain how important friends are. dont give up your mates but your partner should come first and you can still see your friend but take your girlfriend along with you and maybe meet her once or twice a month and not every week. shes an ex so keep it down but dont have to stop being friends. ...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

It's the new gf you should cut things off with. She is going to make your life hell forever ...............................   

A female reader, tennisstar88  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

You should already know the answer to that. Why cut off a 22 year friendship with a woman you haven't dated since high school, for a 4 year girlfriend who has trust and possibly anger issues? With both know that a man and a woman can have a strictly platonic friendship..and you have tried to explain this to your girlfriend who can't seem to grasp this concept. Instead, she starts pointing fingers and accusing you of cheating based off of assumption. Not to mention, you clearly can't have both women in your life she's trying to force you to choose. Sounds pretty controlling to me. So I've got trust, anger, and controlling issues so far..You tell me the answer. ...............................   

A female reader, Closet romance14  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Friendship is a very special thing to have. If i was you i wouldn't cut off your friendship with this women. I think your girlfriend should understand. Explain to your current girlfriend that this is just a friendship and nothing more. If she doesn't except your wishes then i would find someone who would. ...............................   

A female reader, thewalkin'dude  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Pretty simple, dump your girlfriend. If she doesn't trust you now it's only going to get worse and she's violent? Do you really want to be with someone like that? ...............................   

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Am I eating off a used dish?

3 Answers - (Newest, 6 November 2010)A male age 18-21, anonymous writes:

well ive liked this sgirl for a long time,but she had a boyfreind. She just got dumped and i helped her feel better but then everyone just said i was "eating of a used dish" what should i do should i ask her out or not

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A female reader, tennisstar88  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

"Eating off of a used dish" first I've heard of that. I'm going to take a stab and say that means they're warning you of being the rebound...or this girl is damaged goods. I'd give it some time before you ask her out, especially if she's beat up over the break up. You can't go in like a knight in shining armor, and expect for your relationship to go smoothly..she may dump you and try to get back with her ex. Give it about a month or 2, depends on how long they were together..usually it's a month or 2 us women spend moping around before we start looking for our next suitor. Now, if they were one of those couples that have been together like 4+years then it's going to be quite a while before she gets her emotions straightened out.

A female reader, aunt honesty  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Well if it was just recently that she broke up with her boyfriend then i would advice against asking her out to soon as you dont want to be the rebound, as you may end up getting badly hurt, for now just show her that you are there for her and be a friend to her for the time being let your friendship grow and in time then you can ask her would she like to go on a date, but you need to make sure she is over her ex before you do this. Goodluck. ...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

Trust your feelings, not other people's. If you like her, ask her out. ...............................   

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Boyfriend wants his friend to watch us have sex

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Hooking up with co-workers

A female age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I work with a group of people who all get along really well. we tend to all go out at least once or twice a month. The other night we all went out. Me and one co-worker are neighbors so we usually walk to and from things together. During one of these walks I expressed how I would never go for a co-worker. The other night we ended up drinking alot more then normal, and he invted himself over for a drink and we ended up hooking up ( just making out and a bit of groping ) he then invted himself to stay the night, I said it was fine but nothing would happan. In the morning we made out some more and he had to leave fairly early to go to work.He had borrowed some sweat pants and said we will talk soon. I texted him later that day just asking how his day was, I knew I felt sick all day and I got to sleep in. Normally he responsed to all my texts with in a fairly quick time frame, but this time he has yet to respond. What Gives?

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I flew across the country to meet him and now I'm not attracted to him

A female age 22-25, *uriouskitten writes:

I got into a relationship with someone online. We've been dating for 3months and I fell in love with his personality. I flew across the country to meet him and now that I have I'm not really physically attracted to him. My question is, should I stay with him or break it off? I'm hesitant because I'm just scared to be alone...

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