A male
age 36-40, anonymous writes:
Hello everyone. I have an ex girlfriend from High School that I am still very good friends with. We live 5 blocks away from each other. Speak to each other 3 or 4 times a week. See each other twice a week. But this is only because we are in the same neighborhood. The problem is that my current girlfriend of 4yrs doesn't like it. She gets very angry anytime she even hears the ex's name. She feels we are fooling around behind her back. I have explained to her so many times that I'm not. In fact I don't even find my ex attractive anymore. But we have had so many fights over this. She has even gotten very violent with me several times over this. Should I cut off a 22yr friendship for her? What can I do to stop all this madness?
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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):
Dude im sure you know what to do. If you love this woman, the girlfriend, then you'll do whatever you can to make her happy. A female reader, Stayc63088 + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
Honestly that sounds extremely frequent to see a friend. I would get jealous too. This is a topic I really think depends on a person's point of view. Some believe a friendship with the opposite sex is perfectly fine and normal, others just aren't okay with it. I agree that she is making you choose- her or your friend. So choose. I've gone through this with my boyfriend. He has a friend of 8 years that he used to date but is now just friends. I can't handle it at all. Even though it is 8 years ago it just hurts so badly every time she called or texted. We damn near broke up over it until he decided she wasn't worth losing me. I compromised a little to where he can text or respond back but never hang out. I'm afraid there is no way for you to have both. Your girlfriend won't back down I'm sure. Maybe find someone a bit more confident for you who doesn't care about an ex being a friend you see twice a week. But it will come down to choosing one or the other. Good luck. ............................... A female reader, anna_1209 
+, writes (6 November 2010):
Your girlfriend is obviously quite insecure. If you really care about your girlfriend you need to reassure her that you love her and that there is nothing to worry about your friendship with your ex from high school. Tell her you don't want to choose and its not fair that she should make her. If she continues to be jealous and angry then its up to you to decide whether you're prepared to let a 22 year old friendship go for your girlfriend, but if your ex has been a good friend to you then it would be a shame to losw her over somebody who doesn't trust you ............................... A female reader, blonde30s + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
i think you should talk to your girlfriend about all this and explain how important friends are. dont give up your mates but your partner should come first and you can still see your friend but take your girlfriend along with you and maybe meet her once or twice a month and not every week. shes an ex so keep it down but dont have to stop being friends. ............................... A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):
It's the new gf you should cut things off with. She is going to make your life hell forever ............................... A female reader, tennisstar88 + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
You should already know the answer to that. Why cut off a 22 year friendship with a woman you haven't dated since high school, for a 4 year girlfriend who has trust and possibly anger issues? With both know that a man and a woman can have a strictly platonic friendship..and you have tried to explain this to your girlfriend who can't seem to grasp this concept. Instead, she starts pointing fingers and accusing you of cheating based off of assumption. Not to mention, you clearly can't have both women in your life she's trying to force you to choose. Sounds pretty controlling to me. So I've got trust, anger, and controlling issues so far..You tell me the answer. ............................... A female reader, Closet romance14 + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
Friendship is a very special thing to have. If i was you i wouldn't cut off your friendship with this women. I think your girlfriend should understand. Explain to your current girlfriend that this is just a friendship and nothing more. If she doesn't except your wishes then i would find someone who would. ............................... A female reader, thewalkin'dude + ?, writes (6 November 2010):
Pretty simple, dump your girlfriend. If she doesn't trust you now it's only going to get worse and she's violent? Do you really want to be with someone like that? ...............................
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