I flew across the country to meet him and now I'm not attracted to him

A female age 22-25, *uriouskitten writes:

I got into a relationship with someone online. We've been dating for 3months and I fell in love with his personality. I flew across the country to meet him and now that I have I'm not really physically attracted to him. My question is, should I stay with him or break it off? I'm hesitant because I'm just scared to be alone...

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How can you know if you have a hymen?

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A female reader, tennisstar88  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

It's not it's mucous membrane.

A male reader, B. Shakey  +, writes (6 November 2010):

I never knew the hymen was a bone. ...............................   

A female reader, tennisstar88  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hymen ...............................   

A male reader, The Realist  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

The hymen isn't really an important bone and to my knowledge it is a bone or piece of cartilage that actually normally is detached from some other activity other than sex like crashing your bike. Technically you could get a doctor to tell you but other than that there is no way to know for sure. If you are worried about virginity the hymen actually doesn't play a huge role because of the issue I said above. If you haven't had sex then you are a virgin. No other action technically counts but that is based on opinion. ...............................   

A male reader, strongfp  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Every woman has a hymen it will never go away or 'break' it just stretches and expands as you become more sexually or you are heavy into sports it will just become more loose and more resiliant to insertion. To check, well just take my word for it, you got one. ...............................   

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I'm pretty, why don't I have a boyfriend when ugly fat girls have one?

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A female reader, CandyKins  +, writes (6 November 2010):

Because you need to be more confident and they may have a better personality than you do. Looks do help and can be to your advantage but if you got no personality or brains behind it then you're not going to get noticed. You would... but nothing can be taken further. You would just be an amusement to the eye. You're scared of rejection. But at the end of the day everyone gets rejected somehow, eventually or one way or the other. It's silly to play it safe and being extra cautious because sometimes to get where you want to be or what you want you got to take risks and chances. Say you get rejected by this guy it doesn't imply you're useless. Think of it as auditions. There are ppl that are simply amazing and even better than those who got the part. Think about Ugly Betty.

A female reader, thewalkin'dude  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Who are you to decide who's ugly and whos not? Maybe it's your shallow personality that's putting people off. Just a thought. ...............................   

A female reader, tennisstar88  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Well now fat girls need loving too..in fact we have a few guys on here claiming they like overweight women over pin thin women.. Like the other aunts have said it's all about personal preference. Surely there's more reasons than that holding you back from asking him out? Like nerves or fear of rejection. Let me put it this way, you've liked him for 6 years how much longer are you going to put this off? Don't let him pass you by, take a risk..life is full of them. ...............................   

A female reader, blonde30s  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

maybe cause the things you say are not very nice. you said about ugly fat girls which isnt a nice thing to say at all. we are all different and its whats inside that counts and the person you are. your meet someone when the time is right. get to know people go out with friends and dont try too hard for a boyfriend it will happen all in good time. ...............................   

A female reader, aunt honesty  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Well i actually find what you just said quite shallow so maybe that has something to do with it, you just said ugly fat girl, which is very hurtful, ok so these girls might be over weight but they might have great personalities and this is what a guy truely goes for, personality wins everytime because guys want to be able to enjoy the company of there girlfriends and have a laugh with them. Looks arent everything. If you like this guy then you should just ask him out, then you will no once and for all if you have a chance with him or not. ...............................   

A female reader, Aunty BimBim  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Ugliness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. What you see as ugly and overweight the boyfriends might see as voluptous or ruebenesque. If the guy you have liked for the past six years doesnt have a girlfriend, why not ask him out. Maybe he has been too nervous to ask YOU out because you are so pretty and the "hot one." ...............................   

A female reader, lamee  +, writes (6 November 2010):

sweety dont worry just dont bush to hard on ur self ,, why don't u love ur self and take care of ur self ,, just like how u wish that boyfriend well,,and wait tell the right one for u comes to u ,, dont ever wait or look at what other girls have ,,u still got ur self and the much more u give that love to ur self the much more boys want to be around u ,, is not bout ugly girls there is no ugly girls we all pretty ladies ,, and we all deserve to be loved some how ,, take care of ur own beauty and dont bother ur self ur man well be there for u make ur self as much pretty as u can for him tell he show up and have u ,,good luck ...............................   

A female reader, dmartin89  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

You are calling your friends "these overweight, ugly and mean girls"?! Wow, you don't exactly sound like a breath of fresh air.. The impression that you have given to me is that you are incredibly vain, immature for asking this question and very self involved. Maybe that's why you don't have a boyfriend. Beauty isn't skin deep. These other boys obviously see something in their girlfriends that you don't have. Beauty is also intimidating, it can be hard to feel comfortable around "the hot one". ...............................   

A male reader, bernard  +, writes (6 November 2010):

dont try to fit into there world its because you have something that they dont have you have class.dont worrie the right bf will come your way ...............................   

A female reader, Closet romance14  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Sometimes it not always about looks with guys. If a guy likes you, he likes you. Ask this guy out, If he likes you then he will make it happen. Good luck. ...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

True beauty is on the inside, not the outside. ...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

Maybe once you stop calling those girls ugly and overweight, you might actually get one. It's not that hard. ...............................   

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The ex will not stop bothering me!

A female age 26-29, *unalove writes:

I went out with a guy 4 years younger than me..... when I met him he was wonderful Even made me feel younger than him cuz of the way he carryed him self.... things started going bad after I said yes to being his girl friend.... he lost his job and got kicked out of his house... I helped him out for way to long and he keeped me on check....lost my friends, lost my fam.and because he would tell co-workers to stay away from me and pluse he would call my jobs and cell every five min. I lost 3 jobs.... one day something just clicked in my brain and I said "Im Done" I left him two months ago and I changed my cell number because I would wake up and have 96 missed calls 124 unread txt messages and in the day it was 3 time that on miss calls and txt messages... he has told me that if he sees me "with another guy who ever he may be He is dead" now every time I go out Im looking around to see If he is there... Even when Im out side my house Im looking around... I cant live this way.... I just want peace. What can I do??? I tryed going to the police but they cant do much they say... :(

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I'm due in 2.5 weeks and I'm not ready for this child!

A female age 18-21, anonymous writes:

So as not confuse you, I'll put these facts in list form:

-My husband and I are both 19 (he'll be 20 the end of this month) and we've been together for two years (tomorrow is our two year anniversary). -We've been married for three months and I'm currently eight and a half months pregnant. -We got married five months after we found out I was pregnant. -What's funny is that we conceived our unborn son the night we got engaged. He did it good and proper, too. Took us to the place of our first date and proposed in the most adorable way with an insanely beautiful (and rather expensive) ring to put on my finger! Before I got pregnant, I did want a nice, big wedding with all my family and friends and a gorgeous dress but none of that mattered when my fiancé at the time told me he would never leave me even if we never did get married. But, in the end, HE refused to not marry me. I know at a such a young age like 19 and 20, you can't always count on the words of a young man; especially when he's about to be a new father. But, fortunately, I got myself a real good man; a country man. I told him I wanted to elope but he didn't want me to regret not having a proper wedding with all our family and friends present. It's fantastic! I was barely showing at five months and both my mom and my husband's mom resented me for it. But we had 225 guests and used my husband's parents' backyard for the ceremony. They own ten acres of GORGEOUS green with a scenery I thought only existed in magazines! My fiancé at the time was definitely treating me right. Anyway, of all these amazing things to happen to me, knowing I have security and a stable place to live and a man who is more than willing to take care of and support his family, I still can't help but feel... Trapped. I'm not sure I'm ready for this child and he's going to show his perfect little face in just two and a half weeks. Maybe it's the crazy pregnancy hormones or something. But what am I supposed to do?

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As long as we can make it..is that a good response?

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Sorry, I could not read the content fromt this page.

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I'm worried my OCD is coming back.

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A female reader, blackhearts  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

The OCD you've described sounds like a VERY mild case of it. I however as a young child up until early teens suffered with it terribly (with out any help) and I can't begin to describe the things I used to do! And you call yourself a nut? Also on top of the OCD I had tourettes (the un swearing kind) which made things a lot worse and hell for my parents. On the other hand as I got a little older it did tone down a lot but I have always had it. To be honest you always will have it it comes and goes. Some have worse cases than others and some get it that bad they need professional help. You can get medication for it. Remember once you start it's incredibly hard to get out of again, so train your brain to stop now before it gets worse.

A female reader, blonde30s  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

maybe cause of the stress your under is why it came back and will probably go again but have you tryed counselling for it just to talk about the reasons why etc and they will be able to help you. ...............................   

A female reader, shania  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

I dont think you are ever cured of OCD entirely...you just learn to live with it.You can have periods of not having any symptoms at all and then all of a sudden they come back...and usually when you are under stress or you have too much time on your hands so therefore you are constantly thinking and having to do rituals.You need to go to your GP and he can refer you to a pyschologist who will help you with your condition.In the mean time there is plenty of self help books on OCD and cd's to listen too which will help you to relax. ...............................   

A female reader, aunt honesty  + ?, writes (6 November 2010):

Off course you are not a nut sweetie and dont think that anyone thinks that way of you and if they do then they are ignorant and should be just ignored. It is hard probably for you to understand what is happening it sounds like the stress has brought it back on and even though your brain is telling you that its silly to think these things you have no choice in the matter but to follow them through it sounds like you need to repeatedly check things because you associate these things with harm or danger. Just remember that it is not your fault you are feeling these things. the best cure for ocd is to get cognitive-behavioral therapy, go to your doctor and ask to be referred for this before things can get any worse. it has two parts in it exposure and response prevention and cognitive therapy. There is not much self help on this issue, whenever you feel yourself thinking these things try and change your behavior on to another thought and keep doing this. I advice you go to your doctor soon, good luck hun. ...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010):

i currently have ocd and it never honestly goes away just like alergies you may grow mostly out of them but u still have sensitivities. i think that your stress it taking these sensitivities and magnifiying them so try to find some way to relax mabey yoga 10 min a day thats how i deal with it. when you start to looose this stress you ocd tendencies will be less noticable they may evn stop happening untill the nxt tme you become ovry stressed like you re now Hope it works :) ...............................   

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